The Great Bacon Debate

Posted by mouthyb | Posted in , | Posted on 1:54 AM


The great bacon debate is currently raging in my house, even an this late an hour. I maintain that bacon is an abomination and blasphemy against taste buds, which should only be indulged in when all else fails (preferably on top of my once-every-three-months cheeseburger from this place, in addition to blue cheese, mushrooms in red wine and garlic, raw red onions, arugula, dill pickles and a whole grilled jalapeno. I should never breathe on anyone after that burger.) It is to be approached with fear and a minimum of drooling, and not to be eaten at any other time, as it is the corrupter of taste buds and the Herald of the Waistband Apocalypse.

My partner maintains that bacon is the one true food, the food to which all other foods aspire, and that the proliferation of products like Bacon Salt, Baconaise, Tactical Bacon,the Bacon of the Month club and Bacon jerky are merely signs that the universe is aligning for the Great Bacon Awakening. He awaits, with joy and open arms, the Bacony Old Ones, whose appearance will coincide with a heretofore unknown bacon product. This product will cause world peace, as everyone will be too busy eating bacon.

We may have to go to war over this. The current tabled accord involves me making aioli and adding crispy bacon to it, while muttering Satanic verses. I know the fruit of our tentacled overlords when I see it.

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